don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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