I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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