I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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