I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it was like eating out sand paper
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize