dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
