don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
