He is such a slut. More and more my type.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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