okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
