they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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