I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
