i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
