She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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