This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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