My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
