Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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