How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
