are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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