No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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