the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
