Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Who died my cat blue again?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize