there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize