Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
