And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
