I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
