Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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