Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
