So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
