arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How's work?
Spinning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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