These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
