Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
