i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
