Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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