all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize