What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
