who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
