i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
