no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
