his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
