apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
