apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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