My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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