i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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