i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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