Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
