i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
