Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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