Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
