Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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