A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
