That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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