party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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