if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
