My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
