Are we in a gay sports bar?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
you told grandpa to call you daddy
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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