My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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