She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
