I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
