k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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