Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize